Monday Night Raw -- August 25, 2008

Another Monday Night Raw...

Started out great -- solid 15-minute CM Punk match.The rest of the show? Ummm...not necessarily great but definitely different. I could've used a little Bill Regal.

Theme of the Week: A Breath of Fresh Air

A Breath of Fresh Air

We start the show with CM Punk v. JBL for the title. Yes, a real wrestling match. This is not an Adamle Original.

Punk milks a huge pop before the match.

We start with a nice back-and-forth, with JBL hitting some power moves and Punk hitting some kicks and headshots. Soon, Punk clearly gets the advantage and drop-kicks JBL to the floor.

As JBL struggles to his feet, Punk hits a sweet-looking suicide dive, and both of them go flying into the announce table. Punk gets up and asks Lawler "did you catch that?" as a side comment as he pulls JBL back in the ring.

Lawler is amused. Classic.

Once they get back in the ring, JBL starts his comeback. He tries to backdrop Punk over the top rope, but Punk grabs the top rope as he's going over, and skins the cat.

Just as Punk's feet hit the inside of the ring, JBL knocks him back out with a big boot. More aggressive offense from JBL -- clotheslines, a back breaker, snap suplex. Punk kicks out of some pin attempts.

JBL puts Punk in an adbominal stretch for about 30 seconds, then gives him a clothesline followed by an elbow drop. Another near-fall.

JBL works Punk over a little more, and puts him on the top rope for a superplex. Punk counters into a DDT from the top rope and covers for a near fall.

Both men get up. Punk hits a wicked roundhouse kick to the side of JBL's head, then hits a top rope splash, a running knee into the corner, and a running bulldog. He tries to put JBL in the GTS.

JBL slips out and hits the Clothesline from Hell next to the far turnbuckle. As JBL covers, Punk grabs the bottom rope to break up the pin.

JBL throws a fit. Instead of pulling Punk into the middle of the ring, he runs all the way to the announcer's desk, grabs a chair, and heads back into the ring. The ref grabs the chair, only to see Punk hit a sudden GTS on JBL.

Punk covers for the win.

No Good Match Goes Un-Letdown

Nice match. Maybe you'd expect the momentum to keep going?

Nope. In a massive letdown, Mike Adamle tells the crowd that John Cena is injured from a Batista Bomb at SummerSlam. He needs surgery on a herniated disc, and will be out indefinitely.

(fyi John Cena is definitely out with a bulging disk. It's potentially a very serious injury -- so severe that he was booked out of the past week's house shows. He appeared as Batista's partner in tag matches, but spent little time in the ring and took no bumps.)

As if this isn't disappointing, Adamle says he will name Cena's replacement for the Championship Scramble before the end of tonight's show. And trust me, it's not going to be D-Lo Brown.

Or Lance Cade. Or Mickie James, or Jamie Noble, or either Burchill, or anybody else who inexplicably disappeared from the show.

It Shouldn't Take Four Promos to Tell A Simple Story

Next, Kane gives a promo from a boiler room. He gloats about "killing" Rey Mysterio -- not killing the body, just the soul. He says that's more tormenting than killing the body. Then, he alludes to giving Rey a vicious chokeslam that left him wondering if he's alive or dead.

HUH? I thought KANE was the one who wondered if "he" was alive or dead? Do chokeslams suddenly kill spirits?

And how could Kane have broken Rey's spirit and not known it? Has he been taking tips from my wife??

Whatever. I'm sure it's just some way to explain why Mysterio hasn't wrestled in a month and a half. I wonder how long it'll take for Mysterio's spirit to come alive again. Maybe two weeks?

Intrigue Generates Interest

After Kane's promo, we see Mike Adamle apologizing to Primo Colon for ditching him last week. He says he set up a cabana for him, with apple and everything, just like his brother Carlito!

Primo says to forget about that. He says his brother is a jerk, even to his own family. He says he's nothing like that.

Adamle chuckles. Primo asks what's so funny. Adamle says "you'll find out later."

Intriguing...

Then, Shawn Michaels runs in. He asks for Jericho.

Adamle says Jericho hasn't arrived yet. He sympathizes with Michaels' ordeal and tells him to take whatever time he needs. Then he asks how Rebeka is doing.

HBK glares a hole through the man and walks off.

Intriguing...

After a commercial break, Kelly goes over on Beth Phoenix in a non-title match. While CLEARLY the most improved diva of the year, Kelly makes a rookie mistake and busts Beth's nose open early with an errant kick.

In response, Beth works stiff for the rest of the match. We can definitely tell. Kelly fights back from some pretty tough blows but can't get any advantage.

Beth whips Kelly into the turnbuckle. She runs in for a clothesline but gets a big boot to the face from Kelly. Kelly trips Beth into the corner and goes for her cartwheel-into-an-elbow.

Santino pulls Beth out of the way. Kelly stops the maneuver. Beth stands up and yells at Santino for getting involved. Kelly sneaks in from behind and rolls Beth up for the pin.

Beth is LIVID as Santino cowers on the outside. Needless to say, Beth beats the crud out of Santino and storms off.

Ok, maybe not so intriguing...

Although I wonder where they go with Kelly? Sure, the girl's improved, but when you only get to face the two other wrestlers on your show each week, you're bound to pick something up.

A Breath of Fresh Air

After another break. Charlie Haas comes out dressed like Carlito, with apple and all. He's billed as "Charlito."

This is a great, classic satire on Carlito, and Haas actually sounds like Carlito. He even says "I spit on the face of people who don't want to be mules."

Primo goes over on Haas in a solid but not memorable match.

So, in a nice change of pace, we see a future star debut on RAW, not ECW.

More Fresh Air

Next, we continue the best-developed, best-executed, most-over feud in recent memory, between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels. How often do you see a story feature riveting promos, grade-A wrestling, no swerves, and only PPV matches?

I'll admit, I was a little confused at certain points, but in hindsight, everything makes sense.

But as I wrote in Monday Night Raw -- August 18, 2008, what's up with Lance Cade? Back to the ether?

ANYWHO, my recap can't do justice to this masterful piece of wrestling gold. See it for yourself at Shawn Michaels Challenges Y2J: Raw 8/25/2008. Intense, personal, passionate, sensible -- and not a single punch thrown.

Michaels and Jericho agree to an unsanctioned, no holds barred, no rules match at Unforgiven. The question on everybody's minds: is this the blow-off match? Or is this just the way to put Lance Cade over?

Old Man, Fresh Air

After another commercial, we get Priceless v. Jerry Lawler and Hacksaw Jim "The" Duggan.

As he did on Monday Night Raw -- July 28, 2008, Jerry Lawler puts on a good wrestling match. Predictably, Lawler gets in some solid offense but it's not enough. DiBiase puts a sleeper on him, but Lawler is able to tag Duggan, who hits DiBiase with a clothesline, a body slam, and the charge from a three-point stance.

He goes for a cover, but Rhodes breaks it up. Lawler tackes Rhodes to the outside but in the confusion, DiBiase gets the pinfall.

Man, when I use only last names, that sounds like a match from 1987.

After the match, Cody calls out Cryme Tyme for taking their belts. He says in WWE, you need to win titles, not steal them.

(This is a lie. You get Vince McMahon want you as champion. It helps to have an entertaining persona, good in-ring skills, lots of merchandise sales, few injuries, and a decent look.)

Cryme Tyme suddenly appears in the upper sky boxes. They say they just "borrowed" the belts because they wanted a title match. Priceless agrees to the match, and pledges to get their belts back. Cryme Tyme says nothing is priceless, everything is Money, Money, Yea, Yea.

Backstage, Todd Grisham asks Batista for comments on John Cena's injury. Batista says he hopes Cena has a full recovery. He then tells us he'll win the belt at Backlash, after he destroys Kane tonight.

Only Realize the Truth -- There Is No Intercontinental Title

Personally, I'm beginning to think the IC title is a myth, but then I found pictures -- verifiable proof -- that the belt actually does exist, so I can only gather that what came next was an Intercontinental Title match.

Basically, it consisted of Kofi Kingston selling some of Santino's stink, hitting some quick offense, then getting tripped by Beth Phoenix. His face lands on Santino's knee, which knocks him out.

Santino covers for the pin.

Beth comes into the ring acting all lit up and furious. She backs Santino into a corner, then kisses him. Santino confirms that she's not mad at him, then eats her face as if she was his prom date.

Breath of Fresh...WHAT??

Next, Mike Adamle comes to the ramp and announces that John Cena's replacement in the Championship Scramble is...Rey Mysterio.

THUD.

The kids must be loving this, but I don't get it at all. The guy's DEAD for cripe's sake! Er, I mean, his spirit is dead, whatever that means.

WHAT...EVER.

And, finally, we close the show with Kane and Batista in a great match. Typical big-man match, it starts with some back and forth, headlocks, shoulderblocks, etc.

Batista clotheslines Kane to the floor. Engraged, Kane throws around the steel steps and some chairs. After a commercial break, we see Kane working over Batista's knee.

After about two minutes of torture, Kane tries to put Batista in a Tombstone Piledriver but Batista counters and slams Kane to the mat. Both men go down.

When they get up, Batista hits a clothesline and spinebuster. He goes for a Batista Bomb, but can't get it because his knee is so messed up.

Kane grabs the knee, goes to the outside, drags Batista to the corner and bashes Batista's knee against the ringpost. Then he bashes Batista's knee with a steel chair.

Kane gets back into the ring. As he's about to give Batista a big headshot with the chair, Batista hits a SPEAR out of nowhere. He takes the chair and starts wailing on Kane. He pulls Kane's leg to the ringpost, goes outside, and starts banging the chair into Kane's knee.

Over and over and over again, Batista smashes Kane's knee, until he physically can't continue smashing. He crumples to the ground as Kane lies in the ring, writhing in pain.

A very intense, un-PG way to end the show. Not sportsmanlike at all.

Raw ReWrite

Oh, William Regal, where are you???

Here's my rewrite. Primo Colon.

Looks like a solid talent. Seems like McMahon wanted to get a good dig at Carlito. Charlie Haas looked good enough in the match.

But this is an ECW match. Maybe even a dark match.

Instead, use that time to generate some interest in the IC title. Try this:

Backstage, D-Lo approaches Adamle. He says "Mr. Adamle, I know I've only been back a few weeks, but I see Santino running around with that IC title and I think it's a joke. When I wore that title, it meant something. It meant that you could showcase a PPV, even if you weren't heavyweight champion. It meant you had proven yourself worthy of esteem. It put you on a pedastal.

Now, it's a prop for some Italian reject. Mr. Adamle, give me a chance to make that title mean something."

Adamle pauses for a second, thinks about it, and says "you know, maybe you're right. Maybe it's time to do something about that."

Later in the night, we see Adamle call together everybody except Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Lance Cade, and the contestants in the Championship Scramble. This includes jobbers, tag teams, and dark match specialists.

Adamle says "ok everybody [typical Adamle style], I bet you're wondering why I called you here. Well, I think you'll be happy to hear that I'm creating a tournament for the number one contender for the IC title.

"Now, it's not a pay-per-view tournament. It won't take the place of any other matches you'll have. There will be 16 entrants. 12 will be chosen at random.

"The remianing superstars will compete for the 4 open slots. Then, we'll have two matches each week, until we have a winner.

"Santino, you're still going to have to defend your title each week [Santino cringes]. If one of the tournament participants beats you, you'll switch places. He'll be champ, you'll take his place in the tournament. If he's out of the tournament, you'll just have to wait until some other time to get your title back.

"Ok, gentlemen, get ready for a great tournament!"

Then Adamle up and leaves. The boys start glaring at eachother.

Put over whoever you want. The IC title match will take place at Cyber Sunday, with the fans choosing the stipulations (as always).